Tiki Bar Reviews
Completely biased, politically-incorrect, and opinionated ratings of Tiki Bars around the world.
At this point in "Scotty's" life he has achieved professional status when it comes to judging Tiki Bars. He is on a mission to find the best Tiki Bars around the world.
The following ratings are based solely on Scotty's opinion, so opposing opinions will most likely be ignored! :-)
Completely biased, politically-incorrect, and opinionated ratings of Tiki Bars around the world.
At this point in "Scotty's" life he has achieved professional status when it comes to judging Tiki Bars. He is on a mission to find the best Tiki Bars around the world.
The following ratings are based solely on Scotty's opinion, so opposing opinions will most likely be ignored! :-)
LOCATION
Proximity to beach and sand Beautiful views 
SERVICE
How much the bartenders pay attention to Scotty and spoil him PERFECT SCORE = 20 |
BEER-O-METER
How COLD is the Beer? How CHEAP is the Beer? Do they serve Scotty's Favorite Beers? 
RUMBABBAS
Unique, interesting and tasty concoctions 
BIZARRENESS
Markedly unusual in appearance, style or general character Often involving incongruous or unexpected elements Outrageously or whimsically strange Ya know it when ya see it! |
The Sportsman Inn Tiki Bar - Revised Spring 2014
SCORE 9
Lake Freeman
Monticello, IN USA
2014
To start my quest for the perfect Tiki Bar, I thought it wold be best to rate my home Tiki Bars in Monticello, Indiana
To compare all others by...
To start my quest for the perfect Tiki Bar, I thought it wold be best to rate my home Tiki Bars in Monticello, Indiana
To compare all others by...
LOCATION
Sportsman's Inn Tiki Bar is located on the water of Lake Freeman. It is the ONLY public Tiki Bar on Lake Freeman. Technically, you can step off into the sand, as there is a "beach" volleyball court next to the bar. This Tiki Bar gets a high location score because you can reach Sportsman by land or lake, with docking facilities for both boats and waverunners. 
SERVICE
Highest Marks in this category! Misty gave me my very own Rams Beer Mug that she keeps ready for me…so I can watch my Rams lose at football once again. She also bought me a Red Pepper shaker at a garage sale so I could always have red pepper flakes for my pizza. Lisa is my "Enforcer". She contracts with me annually to take the drink sprayer behind the bar and literally "Hose Down" patrons of my choice. Most of the time my choice is a local character by the name of Digger…Sorry Digger! Trish has spoiled me as well, putting up with my occasional tantrums and rants, always with a smile on her face. Then there is Jeff. He does not spoil me, but does take care of me. Actually, I really never want Jeff to 'spoil' me. I will leave that to all the hot women behind the bar at Sportsman's Inn! 
BEER-O-METER
Beer is cold because the bartenders DO put my beer on ice for me. (See Service). They only sell Coors Light by the bucket and NEVER Miller Lite?!?! Hence, the low Beer-o-meter rating. Shame on you, George (manager). However, they did add Corona Light to their beer menu, which is a plus and thus raised their score to a Two Beer rating. 
RUMBABBAS
They offer "Drinks of the Day" and consistently make excellent Cosmo Martinis. They also offer hand-stuffed Blue Cheese Olives (Paula made me say this!) 
BIZARRENESS
It's INDIANA! Need I say more? Only the customers are bizarre! 
DUMB ASS PENALTY
I had to add this new, but hopefully rarely if ever used, penalty. The Dumb Ass Penalty deducts from the overall Tiki Bar rating. Upon returning home to Lake Freeman this spring the Sportsman's Tiki Bar decided to change their hours during peak season. The Tiki Bar was closed on Memorial Day. Really???? One of the only 3 holidays during our short summer season. They have been closed during the day on every nice weather weekend this season. What is up with that??? They are now only opening the Tiki Bar after 5:00 pm each day. So this is the first "Nocturnal Tiki Bar" I have encountered on my journey for the perfect Tiki Bar thus far. Add to this they have now reduced their days open to 6 now closing on Tuesdays. Hmmm??? This has all happened since I returned to Lake Freeman. Do you think there may be some cause and affect going on here??? There was that "Scotty dancing on the Tiki Bar chairs to ACDC incident" and the "Rauterberg head stand on the bar incident" but I consider those incidences coincidental and not causal. Therefore, I must give the Sportsman Tiki Bar a bonehead -2 Dumb Ass Penalty. I was going to be politically correct and call it the Donkey Penalty, but since leaving Corporate America I am committed to being politically incorrect. |
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Jakes
SCORE 11
Lake Shafer
Monticello, Indiana
Reviewed Spring 2014
LOCATION
This Tiki Bar is located on Lake Shafer. This lake is north of Lake Freeman separated by a dam. The deck at Jakes sits above the lake with a good view of the lake and docks. With the slightest wind, the table umbrellas take off like rocket ships. I classify this as entertainment as long as you do not suffer a concussion in the process. The best entertainment are the docks below. In the short time we were there for lunch we saw a 30' pontoon boat tied half ass and then quickly becoming untied and doing battle with the sea wall, a small 16' ski boat with a crew that took 30 minutes to tie up followed by leaving with both the front and aft ropes dragging in the water. In addition, we saw a waverunner that tied up to a dock as if he was a standard boat with a ski jacket used as a fender and shortly after bouncing between the water and the bottom side of the dock. As it turns out I could not resist loudly saying "You can not fix dumb-ass" (referring to the waverunner crew.) Paula instantly poked me in the ribs as the crew was sitting right behind me. They instantly jumped up and went down to attend to their battered waverunner. What can I say?!?! The truth hurts!!! :) If I had a category for entertainment this place would get 5 stars. 
SERVICE
The service is very good. No hot chicks however?!?!? Come on Jake... 
BEER-O-METER
$3.50 cold 16 oz. Miller Lites. This is what I am talking about! The rating is only 3 beers as the price is not low enough to constitute a 4 beer rating. 
RUMBABBAS
Jakes has a Rumbabba by the name of High Octane and it lives up to its name. It is orange and lethal. And quite tastey I might add. 
BIZARRENESS
This is Indiana and the only Bizarreness here are the boaters down on the dock. |
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