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Tiki Bar Reviews

Completely biased, politically-incorrect, and opinionated ratings of Tiki Bars around the world. 

At this point in "Scotty's" life he has achieved professional status when it comes to judging Tiki Bars.  He is on a mission to find the  best Tiki Bars around the world.

The following ratings are based solely on Scotty's opinion, so opposing opinions will most likely be ignored!  :-)
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LOCATION
Proximity to beach and sand
Beautiful views

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SERVICE
How much the bartenders pay attention to Scotty and spoil him


PERFECT SCORE = 20



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BEER-O-METER
How COLD is the Beer?
How CHEAP is the Beer?
Do they serve Scotty's Favorite Beers?
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RUMBABBAS
Unique, interesting and tasty concoctions
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BIZARRENESS
Markedly unusual in appearance, style or general character  
Often involving incongruous or unexpected elements
Outrageously or whimsically strange
Ya know it when ya see it!
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Continuing my quest for the "Perfect Tiki Bar" in "The Keys" of  Florida... Cruising Season 2015

Why only two Tiki Bars rated? Because it is Key West. Many many bars but few Tiki Bars and fewer worth rating.

Although not "Perfect" I found a Tiki Bar that is as close as I have found to date. It is located at the Key West Yacht Club and Marina on Stock Island.

Hurricane Hole 

SCORE  9   
Stock Island, Florida
Fall + Winter 2014

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LOCATION
This Tiki Bar is located on the water in a cove of Mangroves. It is secluded and yet easy to get to by either kayak, dinghy, or walking. This Tiki Bar gets a 3 Palm Tree rating.
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SERVICE
Excellent service by ALL of the bartenders!  I was especially partial to the bartender that was a USC, Lakers, Kings fan and always wore a jersey or hat to prove it. Food is excellent here. Pork Nachos are killer.
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BEER-O-METER
Beer is cold and they serve Miller Lite. Although a little pricey at $4 per beer it is still on the low side for Key West. Add to that they gave me local prices which is 10% off of the bill and I give them a 2 beer rating.
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RUMBABBAS
No special drinks.  
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BIZARRENESS
Nothing bizarre here.

Key West Harbour Marina
"The Yacht Club"  and Tiki Bar

SCORE  19  
Stock Island, Florida
Reviewed Fall 2014

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LOCATION
This Tiki Bar was located 50 feet from the back of our boat and 20 feet from the restrooms. Can you get any more convenient than that? I think not!!!  The view is spectacular as you can see from the pictures. I studied it many afternoons. Every Sunday there is a potluck dinner with amazing food created by all of my marina pals. Throughout the day various friends visited the Tiki Bar for a break to play with their cool dogs and quench their thirst with a beer.  At cocktail hour many boaters from the marina stopped by to watch the sunset. This is the location were I contracted the "Key's Disease"...

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SERVICE
This is a self serve Tiki Bar, so of course I must rate this a full 4 Hula Girls. After all, who is going to take care of me and pamper me better than me!?!?  OK, maybe Paula when she was there, but in her absence I must say I did an excellent job. So 4 Hula Girls!!! 
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BEER-O-METER
I always brought ice cold Miller Lite beer from the boat fridge, and you can not get any cheaper than beer from your own fridge... unless it came from Butch's fridge (which it did quite often!) So I must rate this a solid 4 Beers.

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RUMBABBAS
Paula came up with many yummy boat drinks from the Tabula Rasa Bar. Add to that some "Butch Rumbabbas" plus a drink machine that was at the Tiki Bar one evening that made like 50 different drinks and you get a solid 4 Rumbabbas rating.    
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BIZARRENESS
Now there were many bizarre characters at the Tiki Bar at times (including yours truly) but I think we came up short of a 4 Crazy Fish rating. Prove me wrong. What happens at that Tiki Bar stays at that Tiki Bar. Consequently, I am going to give this Tiki Bar a 3 Crazy Fish rating. Butch, Tim, and Billy Bob moved it over the top from a 2 to a 3!
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Tiki Bar Runway