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Tiki Bar Reviews

Completely biased, politically-incorrect, and opinionated ratings of Tiki Bars around the world. 

At this point in "Scotty's" life he has achieved professional status when it comes to judging Tiki Bars.  He is on a mission to find the  best Tiki Bars around the world.

The following ratings are based solely on Scotty's opinion, so opposing opinions will most likely be ignored!  :-)
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LOCATION
Proximity to beach and sand
Beautiful views

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SERVICE
How much the bartenders pay attention to Scotty and spoil him


PERFECT SCORE = 20



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BEER-O-METER
How COLD is the Beer?
How CHEAP is the Beer?
Do they serve Scotty's Favorite Beers?
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RUMBABBAS
Unique, interesting and tasty concoctions
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BIZARRENESS
Markedly unusual in appearance, style or general character  
Often involving incongruous or unexpected elements
Outrageously or whimsically strange
Ya know it when ya see it!
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Continuing my quest for the "Perfect Tiki Bar" in more islands of the Abacos...
Cruising Season 2015

Pineapples
SCORE  14   
Green Turtle Cay, Bahamas
Reviewed Spring 2015

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LOCATION
Pineapples is located on the water with a nice view and has its own swimming pool for the Tiki Bar. How cool is that? You drink at the bar, get hot, go for a swim,  then go back to the Tiki Bar refreshed and ready to start again!
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SERVICE
Yvonne was the bartender  and she pampered me. I do not like Conch Fritters as the Conch is usually overpowered by breading. I am a purest when it comes to Conch.  However, the locals said I had to try their Fritters. so I did and they were amazing!!!  I had them again on my next visit and I highly recommend them!!!! (Remember, I'm the guy that doesn't like most conch fritters!) 

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BEER-O-METER
Sands Light was always cold. Beer was moderately priced (Relatively speaking). They did not carry Miller Lite however.
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RUMBABBAS
Their specialties are the "Plymouth Smash" and the "Pineapple Smash". Both are very tasty and lethal. They maxed out on the Rumbabbas rating.
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BIZARRENESS
There is some element of bizarre going on here.
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Yvonne and Scotty at Pineapples

Lizzard Bar and Grill
SCORE  9  
Green Turtle Cay, Bahamas
Reviewed Spring 2015

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LOCATION
A little way off the water and up the hill. It has a pool available for cooling off in the tropical heat.

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SERVICE
Service was basically good. However, Bianca, the bartender, took Paula's side over me on two disagreements. This does NOT qualify as "Pampering Scotty". There must be a consequence and hers is a 2 Hula Girl reduction. Just sayin.....
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BEER-O-METER
Sands Light was cold but pricey. They did not carry Miller Lite.
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RUMBABBAS
There house drink is a green "Drunken Lizzard". Pretty cool, tasty, and creative. 4 Rumbabbas for the Drunken Lizzard.
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BIZARRENESS
Zilch here.